Have you felt the pressure to reveal your pregnancy on social media? If you google pregnancy reveal, you'll find a magnitude of articles on "Top ways to announce your pregnant" to "Creative ideas to reveal that you're expecting." But what if it isn't for you?
Sharing your pregnancy with friends and loved ones is a unique and joyous moment for any expectant family.
But Is the pregnancy "big reveal" becoming another social pressure for women?
Having suffered a miscarriage in 2018, I was more than nervous and over-cautious this time around, to even tell people, let alone post the scan picture.
Last year on discovering I was expecting, I was quickly swept away by the baby bubble and, I somewhat overshared my news.
Although I never actually posted anything on social media, I must have told every person I met and their dog!
Miscarriage was a traumatic and emotional experience. While navigating my way through the ordeal, I was feeling utterly embarrassed that I had told so many people and somewhat ashamed of myself for getting so carried away.
This time around, when I discovered the big news earlier this year in March, I was adamant it was staying a closely guarded secret.
Having convinced myself at several points throughout this pregnancy so far, that sharing will result in miscarriage or complications, I was even reluctant and too afraid to tell work.
Could I jinx myself, and could I allow myself to celebrate?
When is the right moment to reveal?
After my 20-week scan, I started to relax and enjoy this pregnancy. I felt ready to dream about the future, my family to be, and the endless adventures that lie ahead.
I watched on social media as other friends and people I knew announced their big news, and I watched in awe of the beautiful ways in which they did.
But, I wasn't brave enough. I still had a niggling thought that if I did, something terrible would happen.
As soon as anyone mentioned to me, "when are you going to do the big reveal?" I was immediately squirming in my seat and sweating up. It suddenly felt like an enormous social pressure.
I know it comes from an innocent place, the people who love you, want to share in the excitement.
I pestered my own brother and his partner to share their big pregnancy news on social media. This week I've been reflecting on that, I had no idea what a journey pregnancy is, and how private everyone's experience is.
I feel bad that I added pressured to reveal when maybe they weren't ready or simply didn't want to.
The reveal seems to have become a new pregnancy milestone
The big reveal isn't for everyone, for varying reasons, but it seems to have become an essential milestone in pregnancy for women.
"Step 4 - prepare your scan picture and
reveal your big news online in a super
cute and creative way."
We live in an age of online oversharing, and although its wonderful news for my family and close network, there are lots of people out there, that just don't want to see it.
The thought of uploading that scan picture, my finger hovering over the post button, had me almost in hives, why did I feel like I had to do it?
Just because the majority of people seem to do it these days? Because I wanted my little moment in the spotlight? Because I was so excited and proud to be on this journey, I wanted to scream it from the rooftops? Probably all of it, but the pressure got me thinking.
It's not an essential part of the baby prep list and, although for some, it's an exciting milestone, for others, it's not.
Eventually, around 6-months mainly because my daily fear of miscarriage had started to subside, I felt ready to post a causal Instagram story, with my bump visible.
It felt like a massive leap of faith. I thought "please universe don't punish me for being happy."
If you're feeling the social pressure, don't let it influence you, this is your story, your way and if you do or don't it doesn't matter, your baby won't love you any less.
Have you felt the pregnancy reveal social pressure? I'd love to hear what your experience was, leave me a comment.